When I was single, I spent a lot of time thinking about being single. I thought about what I wanted my life as a single person waiting to get married to look like. I often wondered what my husband would be like and what our marriage would be like.
Now that I'm married, I spend a lot of time thinking about my marriage. Things like areas where Husby and I are crushing it, areas where I need to step it up, things I need to work on, what I can do to speak Husby's love language, my favorite things about being a wife. Stuff like that.
We've been married three years. So I am by no means any sort of expert in marriage. I realize we are just at the beginning of our long lives together. In fact, we're pretty much still in the honeymoon phase. But over the last several months I've come to realize that there is a favorite part of our marriage that I never anticipated. It's an attitude of thankfulness.
This past Sunday our pastor spoke on marriage. I'd like to think that I've been paying attention to sermon subjects the past three years and I'm pretty sure that this is the first sermon I've heard on marriage since we got married. Perhaps our pastor has spoken on marriage before, but I'm not there every Sunday, due to going back to my parents' house on the occasional weekend and attending my home church. Or traveling out of state for a vacation. But I'm pretty sure this is the first sermon I've heard on marriage in three years. So, I'm finally sitting on the other side of the subject...one of the "included" on the subject. Not listening as a single person like I did for years. Listening to a sermon on marriage and actually getting to immediately apply something from it to my life was pretty cool. It was also really cool to sit and listen to someone talk about marriage who was standing in the very spot where we said our vows to one another. AND, it was also cool to hear a sermon on marriage as the timing intersected with the start of November.
November is a great time to reflect on what you are thankful for. Several of my friends take the "Thankfulness Challenge" on Facebook and post one thing every day that month that they are thankful for. It all culminates, of course, with the Thanksgiving holiday.
So getting back to this attitude of thankfulness I mentioned. I think thankfulness is one area that Husby and I really excel. My husband comes from a very thankful and encouraging family. They come by it quite naturally and I don't even know if they realize they are like that. They are quick to compliment one another, give a pat on the back, and generally lift one another up with their words. So, this is how my husband is. He doesn't give a second thought to thanking someone for something they did. I have always been an encourager. It comes quite easily to me, as I believe it is one of my spiritual gifts from God. But saying "thank you" wasn't something that I just did naturally. This saying "thanks" was something I caught onto this quite early in our marriage and started to make it a habit. But I had to make an effort to communicate my thankfulness. I found that soon sincere "thank you's" were flowing effortlessly between us. It's one of my favorite things about our marriage. Even the smallest things are appreciated in our house. If you were a fly on our wall you would hear, "Thanks for mowing the lawn." "Thanks for getting the baby dressed." "Thanks for making the bed." "Thanks for making dinner." "Thanks for cleaning up the kitchen." "Thanks for balancing the checkbook." We clearly communicate when we are appreciative of the acts of service we do for one another. And the funny thing is, the more you hear "thank you" from someone, the more likely you are to say it back. It just kind of snowballs! It's such a good way to let someone know you appreciate them. That's what most people crave - appreciation. Just knowing that someone sees what you are doing and acknowledges the effort.
Our marriage isn't perfect. No one's marriage is perfect because there's no such thing. There are no perfect wives, no perfect husbands, no perfect kids, no perfect homes. We always have things to work on. But in this area of thankfulness, I think we are doing better than okay.
Here is the link to the audio of the sermon I heard on Sunday. None of it really has to do with "thankfulness" specifically, but it's the catalyst for the subject of this blog post and really got me thinking about writing about this aspect of our marriage. You will probably have to copy and paste the link in your browser.
http://www.fcchudson.com/audio/jesus-and-marriage/
What about you? Does saying "thank you" to those you love the most come naturally? Or is it something that you will need to make an effort to do? Has it occurred to you before to thank those who love you most for the mundane things they do?
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