Thankfulness - a list

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. And as I prepare to have many relatives from my mom's side of the family over for our Thanksgiving celebration tomorrow, I've been thinking all day about all of the things I'm so thankful for.

I have been abundantly blessed by God. An embarrassing amount. Much more than I ever deserve. But that's the great thing about God - He doesn't actually give us what we "deserve." His grace and mercy overflow for His kids. And I am so thankful for so many things he has given to me. In no particular order, I am thankful for:

1. My sisters. This morning I was looking at the three photos I have framed on my bedroom wall. Each 8x10 is a photo of my two sisters and me, at each of our weddings. Each of us had two maids/matrons of honor...our other two sisters. We each took a turn signing the marriage certificates as witnesses. I signed Laurie's, Michelle signed mine, Laurie signed Michelle's. The three of us are close, with  no drama ever involved in our relationships with one another. At least, not since 2002 when Laurie and I stopped living together. :) I am so thankful for their support, the laughs, the inside jokes, the venting to one another, the countless texts, and so much more. If I go more than a couple of days without talking to either of them, I start to miss them. One sister lives four miles away, the other lives over 50 miles away. But distance is nothing between us. I'm thankful for these bonds.

Love my sisters - one of my favorite pictures of us

 2. My house. I love my house. I think it's beautiful. When I turn up the thermostat, I get heat. When it rains, everything in my house stays dry. I get instant electricity when I need light, or to dry my hair, or to charge a cell phone. When I need water, I just turn on the faucet and I get water immediately. It's a cinch to cook a meal, take a shower, wash and dry our many clothes. This puts me is in a small percentage of people in the world. So many people in the world have NONE of these things. I do not take any of it for granted and am so thankful for it all.

3. My child. I waited a long time to be a mom. And I am loving it. I love taking care of my girl. She is so sweet. And social. And developing quite the sense of humor. She is bright and curious. I am enjoying each stage as she develops and treasuring each milestone. I don't want to take anything for granted and "wish" for the next stage. I'll never rush her growing up, I'll delight in her growth, and I'll treasure her achievements. I am so thankful to be her mother.

My little Tuppy. Ten months old.

 4. My husband. We have so much fun together. We laugh a lot. We make a good team. He is so supportive of me, he encourages me, he prays with me, he loves me just the way I need to be loved. He knows how to speak my love language. He is the second best thing that's ever happened to me. Choosing to follow Christ is the best thing that's ever happened to me. He knows that he will always be number two in my book and he's just fine with that. :) I am incredibly thankful for him!

A couple of months before we were married!

5. My church. I love Faith Community Church. I started attending there about seven years ago. I've served in a couple of different ministries. Husby and I did our pre-marital counseling through the church. We were married there. We dedicated our little Tuppy as part of this church. And now I work there part-time as I help behind the scenes of our Wednesday night children's ministry. I have come to know so many quality people that attend Faith, work at Faith, and volunteer at Faith. The staff of pastors and fellow attenders encourage me, build me up, and teach me how to have a deeper walk with Christ. This is a church that loves people through Christ! And I am thankful for this church!

6. The rest of my family. My parents, in-laws, nieces, nephews - we all get along and enjoy spending a lot of time together. Not all families are like this and I'm so thankful for all of the time that we have had together, growing closer, laughing, eating (lots of eating), just being invested in one another's lives. I am so thankful for functional family love.

7. Pie. I'm thankful for pie.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Thankfulness in marriage

When I was single, I spent a lot of time thinking about being single. I thought about what I wanted my life as a single person waiting to get married to look like. I often wondered what my husband would be like and what our marriage would be like.

Now that I'm married, I spend a lot of time thinking about my marriage. Things like areas where Husby and I are crushing it, areas where I need to step it up, things I need to work on, what I can do to speak Husby's love language, my favorite things about being a wife. Stuff like that.

We've been married three years. So I am by no means any sort of expert in marriage. I realize we are just at the beginning of our long lives together. In fact, we're pretty much still in the honeymoon phase. But over the last several months I've come to realize that there is a favorite part of our marriage that I never anticipated. It's an attitude of thankfulness.

This past Sunday our pastor spoke on marriage. I'd like to think that I've been paying attention to sermon subjects the past three years and I'm pretty sure that this is the first sermon I've heard on marriage since we got married. Perhaps our pastor has spoken on marriage before, but I'm not there every Sunday, due to going back to my parents' house on the occasional weekend and attending my home church. Or traveling out of state for a vacation. But I'm pretty sure this is the first sermon I've heard on marriage in three years. So, I'm finally sitting on the other side of the subject...one of the "included" on the subject. Not listening as a single person like I did for years. Listening to a sermon on marriage and actually getting to immediately apply something from it to my life was pretty cool. It was also really cool to sit and listen to someone talk about marriage who was standing in the very spot where we said our vows to one another. AND, it was also cool to hear a sermon on marriage as the timing intersected with the start of November.

November is a great time to reflect on what you are thankful for. Several of my friends take the "Thankfulness Challenge" on Facebook and post one thing every day that month that they are thankful for. It all culminates, of course, with the Thanksgiving holiday.

So getting back to this attitude of thankfulness I mentioned. I think thankfulness is one area that Husby and I really excel. My husband comes from a very thankful and encouraging family. They come by it quite naturally and I don't even know if they realize they are like that. They are quick to compliment one another, give a pat on the back, and generally lift one another up with their words. So, this is how my husband is. He doesn't give a second thought to thanking someone for something they did. I have always been an encourager. It comes quite easily to me, as I believe it is one of my spiritual gifts from God. But saying "thank you" wasn't something that I just did naturally. This saying "thanks" was something I caught onto this quite early in our marriage and started to make it a habit. But I had to make an effort to communicate my thankfulness. I found that soon sincere "thank you's" were flowing effortlessly between us. It's one of my favorite things about our marriage. Even the smallest things are appreciated in our house. If you were a fly on our wall you would hear, "Thanks for mowing the lawn." "Thanks for getting the baby dressed." "Thanks for making the bed." "Thanks for making dinner." "Thanks for cleaning up the kitchen." "Thanks for balancing the checkbook." We clearly communicate when we are appreciative of the acts of service we do for one another. And the funny thing is, the more you hear "thank you" from someone, the more likely you are to say it back. It just kind of snowballs! It's such a good way to let someone know you appreciate them. That's what most people crave - appreciation. Just knowing that someone sees what you are doing and acknowledges the effort.

Our marriage isn't perfect. No one's marriage is perfect because there's no such thing. There are no perfect wives, no perfect husbands, no perfect kids, no perfect homes.  We always have things to work on. But in this area of thankfulness, I think we are doing better than okay.

Here is the link to the audio of the sermon I heard on Sunday. None of it really has to do with "thankfulness" specifically, but it's the catalyst for the subject of this blog post and really got me thinking about writing about this aspect of our marriage. You will probably have to copy and paste the link in your browser.
http://www.fcchudson.com/audio/jesus-and-marriage/

What about you? Does saying "thank you" to those you love the most come naturally? Or is it something that you will need to make an effort to do? Has it occurred to you before to thank those who love you most for the mundane things they do?

Six months of being Mrs. Meyer

Six months ago today was the greatest day of my life (so far). I married the most wonderful man I've ever met. It still astonishes me that he chose me as his wife. In honor of six months of marriage, here is my list of my six favorite things about being married to Chip.

Presenting Mr. & Mrs. Meyer

1. Although the wait was long, the payoff was huge. I spent a long time waiting for God to unfold His plan for me. During that long, long, long, long waiting time, I did not just sit at home - I went out and lived life, with the full confidence and faith that eventually God would connect me to my husband. Because of that faith, I refused to compromise my standards. I went a couple of long stretches of time not only being single, but I went a long time without even one date. I once had a friend ask me, "Don't you want to go out on a date, just for the sake of going out with a guy, no matter who it is?" I told her it was quite the opposite. The longer I had to wait on God, the more my standards were raised. If I had to wait to date someone, when it finally happened, it was going to be a quality person. Not just any shmoe would do. As difficult and lonely as those single years were, Chip was definitely worth the wait. Those years gave me time to work on the woman I've become today, to work on domestic skills, to pray for my future husband...to see all that come to fruition causes me to absolutely love being a wife.

Chip's 36th b-day

2. A new name! And a new family to come along with that name! I am so proud to be a Meyer. And I have wonderful in-laws.

Attending a wedding 2 weeks after ours

3. I remember one Sunday very specifically about nine years ago. I went to church, by myself, and the pastor was doing a series on marriage. I hated those sermon series when they would do that, because it sooooo didn't apply to me. Marriages are very important and a lot of people need help navigating them, I totally get that. So, I find it very appropriate, of course, for the church to address a lot of topics about marriage. But what the church does not do is address singleness much. Singleness is rarely celebrated in the church body. Because singles are usually the minority. Anyway, at this particular point in time, I was a bit low over being single (still). So, there I sat. Listening to a sermon on marriage. Sitting by myself, with an empty chair on each side. Sitting in the row ahead of me was a family. A mom, a dad. A preteen daughter. An elementary aged son. And a preschool boy, who sat on his sister's lap. A beautiful family. And at one point, the dad put his arm around the mom. He was wearing a watch and a short sleeve shirt. And seeing that watch, such a "manly" object, move to show affection to the wife, just struck me. I sat there, tears rolling down my face. I wanted an arm with a watch around the wrist, to wrap around me. It was a moment I'll never forget. And now that I'm married, I appreciate so much the small tokens around the house that show that I live with a man. Chip's wedding ring on his night stand, his electric razor plugged into the power strip on my side of the bed as he charges it before he packs and leaves on a work trip, his plastic Wisconsin Badger cup that sits on the bookshelf next to his spot on the couch - always filled with water for him to sip as he watches TV, a pair of men's boots by the door from the house to the garage. My husband is a very tidy person. So he doesn't leave much of a trail behind him wherever he goes. But having these few items around the house often make me smile because it makes me appreciate the fact that I now have an arm with a watch around the wrist to be wrapped around me. And it reminds me that God is faithful.



First Christmas as Mr. & Mrs.


4. The kind of texts you only get when you live with the one you love. Things like, "Can you pick up some milk at the store today?" "Turn the crockpot on at 9 am." "Don't feed the cat when you get home...I already fed him." "I'll be home around 6:00." "I sent out Valentine's cards to all the nieces and nephews." After years of living alone, it's so awesome to have someone to "do" life with. Even the mundane things. Whenever I send or receive one of these texts, it reminds me that I am serving my husband and I am married to someone who equally serves me. And, we make a good team! We can get a lot done between the two of us!

Flowers on our 1 month anniversary

5. Laughs, laughs, and more laughs. No one keeps me laughing like my husband. He is one funny guy, most of his humor comes off the cuff. One of my favorite laughs came a few weeks ago. My winter coat was really grungy with dirty cuffs and collar. I had told Chip I was going to get it dry cleaned once the weather warmed up. We were in the grocery store on an unusually warm day in January and I knew if I went out without my coat, I wouldn't be a popsicle by the time I got to the car. As we were walking by the service desk at the grocery store, it hit me that it would be the perfect time to drop off my coat. I stopped and said, "I'm going to leave my coat to be dry cleaned right now," and proceeded to take it off quickly, fill out the slip, and drop it in the bag. Chip looked at me and said, "I'm glad you didn't decide your pants needed dry cleaning!" I laughed all the way to the car.

Our verson of "American Gothic" on our wedding day

6. The different ways he lets me know he loves me. Whether it's in words or actions, I appreciate the fact that this man chose me and loves me. He is a wonderful husband and I adore being his wife. Not that there hasn't been a learning curve in living together...we are two quirky people...we see things in different ways...we don't always understand one another...but even with a little bit of natural conflict, I still have loved every day of being his wife.