And the circle widens...

Let's talk about friends. No, not the TV show; although, I could write a fairly long post about that, since I've seen every episode of the 10 season run many, many, many, many times. Many. But, that's for another day.

Today I want to talk about friends in my life. Both old and new.

I've never really had trouble making friends, or ever had a lack of quality friendships. Thankfully. Seriously...I have thanked God for this fact more than once. I have had the blessing of having some solid, quality friendships over my lifetime. Heck, I'm still friends with my very first friend, Joey. She's six months younger than me and we grew up on the same country road. That is one strong bond right there.

Some of the "Monson" girls at one of my bridal showers

Of course friends have come and gone as I have moved from my hometown, attended a couple of colleges, changed jobs, and switched churches over the past three decades. You can't keep every friendship you cultivate as you keep meeting more and more people. It would be emotionally exhausting. You really only need a handful of best friends. But I still have solid friendships from every single one of those areas of my life with one exception: my three years at UW-Eau Claire. It was a very dark time, friend-making wise. I walked away with only three semi-solid friendships from my time there and I rarely have any contact with any of them. I think I didn't make many friends during my last three years of college because there was no way I could top my experience at my first college. I had spent my first two years of college in a super-nova blast of friendship cultivating. I started school at a private Christian college (Go, Eagles!) and in the two years there, developed relationships with fellow Christ followers that are still in tact today! Boy, a common love for Jesus is like cement when creating a new friendship. It's some strong stuff.

Sarah, me, & Melody in my dorm room on my 19th birthday

Some of my favorite friendships are those where we may not be close now, but were great friends in the past. Then life changed, as it always does, and some distance (actual miles) were put in between us. And even though some time has passed since we had some face-to-face time, when we see one another, it's the most heart-warming thing. We pick up as though we just saw each other last week. That just happened to me recently. What IS that? How does that work? It happens to me time and time again. Man, I guess the bonds you make with a good friend can withstand just about any amount of time! Particularly when the foundation of your friendship is Christ.

My Eaglebrook Church singles Bible Study group doing our "jazz hands" pose

This mysterious phenomenon of reconnecting with old friends leads me to think of a couple of the girls I had as friends in elementary and Jr. High and then they moved away. I bet if I saw them tomorrow, we would chat as though there was no twenty-some-year gap between now and when we last saw each other as friends. That span of time would just evaporate into nothing as we talked and laughed together. In fact, that happened to me. I reconnected a couple of years ago with a friend that moved away in 1987. 1987! We are all grown up...our lives have taken different paths...we are different from who we were in 1987 (thankfully!). And yet...instant re-connection. What a miracle. Truly. A miracle! Oh, the bonds of girlfriends can be so STRONG!

With some friends from Reeve Church (the church I grew up in) at a Twins game

And then there are new friends. How this works truly amazes me. I got married five months ago. I have known my husband for less than two years. Which means that we were both thirty-somethings with well-established circles of friends. Working our two separate circles into one another's lives could prove to be a tricky thing. Will he like my friends? Will I like his? Well, I'm happy to report a big sigh of relief on this one. My husband is good at friendships. Really good at them. He's loyal, works at maintaining them, and is sort of the glue that keeps certain circles of his friends stickin' together. He has a lot of friends. This could have been a potential relationship land-mine. But no worries. As our relationship has grown, so has my circle of very new friends. He has some quality people in his life. As he says, "I stopped hanging out with jerks a long time ago." And it has brought me such delight to get to know these friends. I marvel at how some of these have become almost insta-friendships with very little effort! I am clicking with so many of them. I even told him my ranking of my favorites (which will be kept between the two of us). I am so excited to see where these new friendships take me and the role they will play in my life. It's such a blessing to meet someone, spend some time chatting, and feel like they are an old friend that I'm picking up with...instead of the reality of it...getting to know them from scratch. I sincerely do not take this for granted. It has not been this way for me in the past. I was in a relationship a long time ago and he had a tight-knit circle of friends. I had trouble connecting with many of them. In fact, there was ONE person that I felt it was easy to be around and I could be myself. One. The rest...I had a hard time relating to them...coming up with things to talk about...being myself as we spent time together. It all felt very forced. Not so with my husband's friends.

A gaggle of my husband's co-workers (current & former) at our reception

My former pastor used to say that friendships are sort of like an archery target. You have a lot of people in the outer ring. People who are acquaintances. Those you occasionally spend time with and enjoy being with. My outer ring has exploded since I've been married. It's bursting at the seams! What joy! The next ring are your close friends. The ones you invest time in on a fairly regular basis. He said most people have 8-10 friends in this ring of the target. This ring has grown for me as well and I would say it is far above 8-10. There are already 4 or 5 friends I have made through my husband's circle that I would place in this ring. It's easy to tell them things, to be a little vulnerable with them, to trust that mysterious connection. Then there's the inner-ring. Your "3 am friends." The people you could call in the middle of the night or in an emotional emergency...the friends you rely on the most. The ones you go to time and time again and say, "Pray for me." Supposedly you need only 2 or 3 people in this ring because any more than that and it becomes emotionally over-bearing. It takes time invested in these friends and your time can only be spread around so much. My inner ring is a little more crowded than 2 or 3. But that's okay because I can handle that.

On vacation in Canada with my husband's old friends and my new friends, Molly & Jay

Hey, old friends: "A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart, and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words." -Unknown

Hey, new friends: "Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born."- Anais Nin 

Reasons I love being a PANK

Yesterday I read an article in the Star Tribune. It was called "PANKs: Happy with the role of aunt." Apparently I had an acronym label and had no idea! You see PANK stands for Professional Aunt, No Kids. Yep, that's pretty much me. A workin' girl with no kids of my own, but auntie to my sister's kiddos. The article talked about women who choose not to have kids, but relish the role of being an aunt. That's kind of me, but not totally. I relish the role of auntie. But I haven't chosen not to have kids. It just hasn't happened yet that I get to be a mom. Someday. Just hasn't been God's plan for me...yet. But, I was pretty much born to be a mom, so I know I will be someday.

Anyway, getting back to the PANK business. Even though I wasn't like the women highlighted in the newspaper article, by choosing a career over motherhood, I still would like to think of myself as a PANK. Biologically, I have three awesome nephews and one precious niece. By marriage I picked up four more sweet nieces and one cutie-patootie nephew. So, that makes nine. The oldest is eight-years-old. The youngest just turned one. There's a seven-year-old in the mix. Four of them are in Kindergarten this year. The other two are...well...two. It all adds up to wheel-barrows full of adorableness.

Do you know what it really means to treasure something? To me it means to hold dear to something in my heart, to adore personalities, to tear up at the mere thought of any harm coming to my lovies, to rejoice in accomplishments. For these reasons, I treasure my nieces and nephews. I don't use that word lightly.

So, here are my reasons I love (and treasure) being a PANK:

1. All of the fun, very little of the responsibility.
When you're an auntie, you get to take kids to the park, the Twins game, have sleepovers, go to McDonald's, take them to Grandma and Grandpa's for the weekend, play video games, go rollerskating, and all sorts of fun things. What you don't have to do is enforce bedtimes, give timeouts, get them to eat their veggies, break up fights, or administer punishment. On a regular basis, that is. I've spent so much time with my sister's kids, that I've had to do all of those things. Just not very frequently, and certainly not every day like their parents do.

2. Being a cheerleader.
I get to go to the t-ball games, the Christmas programs, the Awana year-end awards, the school concerts, the dance recitals, buy the stuff from fundraisers, ooh and aah over the latest art project. I love supporting the nieces and nephews, and with all they can be involved in, I'm sure there will be events to go to for years to come. Seeing them achieve something they've been working on or learning...it makes my heart swell with pride every time.

3. Presents!
I absolutely LOVE buying birthday and Christmas presents. I put a lot of thought into it and usually what I give is a hit. There have been a couple of clunkers, but not too many. I just really get a charge out of giving gifts. I used to give my sister's kids gifts, for no good reason. For a while it was at a point where I would walk in their house and one of my nephews would always ask, "Did you bring anything special for me?" And I would take turns...sometimes I would give something for all of them. Sometimes I would bring something for just one of them because when I saw it, it made me think of that particular kid. That has tapered off in the last couple of years as the budget has grown tighter. But I still enjoy giving birthday and Christmas gifts. I just love it when my sister or sister-in-law says, "So-and-so really loves the flibbity-floop you gave them." Score!

4. Quiet.
Sometimes after spending time with my nieces and nephews, I go home and just sit for a couple of minutes in  our house in the absolute quiet. I know our house won't always be quiet, once we have our own family, but I  appreciate it now while I can.

5. There's very little incidents of getting puked on.
Just once. I know my sister has been puked on multiple times. My time will come, but for now I'm glad it's not me.

6. The bond.
Oh, the bond. On this point, I could write pages and pages. There is no other relationship like being an auntie to your sibling's kids. Especially when you're close to your siblings. Especially when you're not a parent yet. My sister will never know what it's like to be an auntie before being a mom. It's kind of a treasured thing. I'm still getting to know my husband's nieces and nephew. We're at the beginning of creating memories together. But my sister's kids...I've been there since it was announced they were on their way. I've had a front row seat to watching their personalities unfold and develop. At some point in their lives, every single one of them has gone through a phase where they would RUN to me when I walked through their door. There is nothing like the bond I have with them. My husband's nephew is a similar bond though, because I have been around since it was announced he was on his way. And it's a bond that allows me to tease. I'm a teaser. I like to joke around. The other day I said to one of my nieces, "What up, Homeslice?" She didn't even acknowledge me...she's so used to my teasing.

7. Practice!
For a long time I have referred to my sister's kids as my "practice kids." I have changed countless diapers, prepared lots of meals for them, taught them songs and games, played LOTS of board games, laid the smack down when they were naughty, given baths, driven them many many miles, and kissed owies. More than once I've been mistaken as a mom when I've been out and about with one of the nephews or niece. I don't think you can ever really be fully prepared to parent, and I know that when I am a mom, there will be many times I feel inadequate. But, I've got a pretty good start in getting a glimpse into what the day-to-day part of parenting looks like. I won't have to go into parenting blindly wondering, "What's Dreft? How do I make a bottle of formula? When do babies start eating solids? Why does my infant son's shirt keep getting wet when he pees? What's a Baby Bjorn? What's a Boppy? What's a Bumbo? Do we need all of these oddly named things?"

8. Being an involved auntie got me a husband.
I had to wait 36 years to find out how God would bring me to my husband. How would we meet? It was because I'm an auntie. I decided to volunteer at our church in the children's ministry, once my nephew was old enough to get involved. It was through this ministry that I met my sister-in-law. Who told me about her single brother. Who I eventually met. Then dated. Then fell in love with. Then married. Huge pay-off for being a PANK.

9. I get to be behind-the-scenes, praying these kids into the people God wants them to be.
Many many many prayers and blessings have been spoken for and over these little ones. God has great things in store for them. I know it.

So, there you have it. Nine nephews and nieces, nine reasons I love being a PANK. I look forward to developing my auntie role with my husband's siblings' kids. (Follow that?) I've been their auntie for only five months. Two of them live far away, and I wish they lived closer. Not just because they're my nieces, but they are good little girls with sweet hearts, sweet smiles, and sweet faces. I'll have to strive to get to know them better in a more creative way, because they aren't as accessible as the local yokels. Er, I mean, the ones that live near me.

And this thought just hit me...if I'm a PANK, I guess that makes my husband a PUNK. I knew it.

Heart attack tutorial

Would you like to know how to just about give yourself a mini heart attack? Just follow these simple steps:

1. Bring your blender over to your sister's.
2. Have your sister use the blender to make malts, then have her wash it.
3. Bring the blender back into your house.
Now this is the key step...
4. When you carry the blender back into the house, set it on your counter, making sure that the top is NOT securely on the base. You must also make sure that you accidentally flip the switch on the base to "ON." And finally (this is a complicated step) make sure you turn the blender away from you, so you can not see that the switch is on and the blender is not securely square on the base.
5. Plug in the blender.

Congratulations! You have nearly given yourself a heart attack! It really helps if you do this before 8:00 am.

Disclaimer: this tutorial may or may not have been tested, tried, and proved.

The Great White Way

I just finished watching the pilot episode of "Smash" on NBC. It's a show about the start-up of a Broadway musical production and two girls competing for the lead. To say that I loved it would be putting it mildly. I was grinning through all the musical numbers.

I don't even know when it started, but I have always loved live theater. Especially musicals. I remember seeing my first play when I was in fifth grade. Our class went on a field trip to the University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire to watch a play on campus. I don't remember what the play was about, but I remember being fairly transfixed by the stage, the way the audience sat in the dark, the way the lights shone on the actors, the way I was watching a story unfold in front of me...live. I guess that's where my fascination with theatre started.

In high school I went to Chanhassen Dinner Theater for the first time, saw my first musical, and fell in love with musicals. What's better than watching actors live on stage? Watching actors SING on stage. The band, the lights, the dancing. Seeing "42nd Street" got me hooked on musicals.

I went to a very small high school. Musicals were not ever performed. But plays were. The high school always performed a play in the spring. My freshmen year I was on the softball team and at the same time was an extra in the school play. It didn't take me long to choose drama over softball. After the season was over, I asked my dad if I could skip the softball team the next year. It was the only thing he ever let me "quit" (although I did finish out that first season...so I didn't technically quit). The next three years of high school I was in the spring play. And I was not very good. I knew that. But it was a small school, so if you wanted to participate, you just had to show up. I gave it my best effort my Sophomore year with just a few lines. My Junior year I had a larger part...I played the roommate/sidekick of the main character. My Senior year I was the lead...by default. The girl who had the lead decided to participate in another event and was going to be gone during our performances. Like I said, I wasn't very good. When I went to college, I had no delusions of being good enough to be involved in drama...at least not ON the stage. And I had no interest in being behind the scenes. So I did other extra-curricular activities.

But then, after college, I got one more chance to be in a production. It's a long story I don't feel like explaining, but I was in a "musical revue" that was performed as a fund-raiser when I was about 25-years-old. I got to sing in a trio...just one song, but it was so fun. My parents and sisters came to the University of St. Thomas campus to support me in my silly little role.

Even though I can't sing and I can't act, I still love theatre. I've been to New York City twice for a weekend and I've seen six shows on Broadway. I go to Chanhassen Dinner Theater whenever I get the chance. If I could afford it, I would go to a theatre production once a month. I'm super-close to the Twin Cities, which has a ton of great theatres. I wish I could take advantage of that more often.

I love movie musicals...both old and recent. They just make me so happy. "White Christmas," "Singin' In the Rain," "On the Town," (really any Gene Kelly movies) "The Wizard of Oz," "High Society," "Chicago," "Hairspray," these are my favorite movies. And, I'll admit, more than once I've recently danced around my living room to a song from a musical, imagining I was performing it on a stage in front of people (hairbrush microphone not included). My favorite pretend performance is to the song "Seasons of Love" from the musical "Rent." Even though it will never happen, I can still dream and pretend to be on a stage. And probably will until I'm in the retirement home, sitting in a chair with an afghan on my lap, remembering the days of when I was the young whipper-snapper in my 30s prancing around my house in an imaginary spotlight.

Just a 16-year-old masquerading as a 37-year-old

In my office we have a common area that has a flat-screen TV hanging on the wall. If it's on, it's usually to something non-offensive, like the weather channel (snore). It's pretty much been OFF for the past year. But it used to be on every day. When it was on, I would change the channel to NBC from time to time so I could catch snippets of The Today Show as I walked by.

I'll never forget the day I walked past it and stopped dead in my tracks. There, out on the Today Show plaza, were five glorious creatures, standing behind mic stands and swaying their little hearts out. New Kids on the Block. Staging their comeback. I was transfixed. I stood there in front of the screen, grinning as big as possible,  heart rate accelerated a bit, practically bouncing on my toes from giddiness. In an instant...just a few short notes and two dance moves...I was sixteen again.

Later that day my sister called me.
"Did you see New Kids on TV this morning?"
"Yep. I got quite a few looks from co-workers and even a couple of 'Who is that?' I was appalled they didn't know."
"It was awesome."

Back in the late 80s and early 90s I was a fan of New Kids. Okay, that may be a smidge of an understatement.  I was a BIG fan. Pretty much everyone who knew me knew that I loved the New Kids. I had a wall that was plastered with 8x10 pictures ripped from teen magazines. I watched their videos over and over. I would day-dream about them, had their photos in my locker, wore their faces on my jacket in pin-form. One time a friend's mom gave me New Kids paraphernalia. That's how well known my fandom was.

Then New Kids quit recording music and broke up and I became more mature and life went on. That little part of who I was as a sixteen-year-old girl remained in the past. Or so I thought. Then New Kids made their comeback in 2008 and that strange phenomenon was once again in full force. The phenomenon of teenage girls going crazy for a boy band or singer. What IS that? It happens with every generation...some young stud (or multiple young studs in one group) rise in popularity and the teenage girls go nuts.

Times change and the world moves forward but this is just one of those things that remains constant. It started back in the 40s for cryin' out loud with Frank Sinatra. Then it was Elvis. Then the Beatles. Then David Cassidy, Donnie Osmond, Duran Duran, New Kids, Backstreet Boys, NSYNC, the Jonas Brothers, Beiber...the list just goes on and on.

Now I'm not saying that EVERY teenage girl ever in the past 70 years has been nutso over some celebrity. But a lot have. Any time you see any footage of a young heart throb performing, you see screaming girls. Lots and lots of screaming girls. Nary a fella to be seen in the crowd. It just this "girl" thing that I can't explain.

My husband and I have had this discussion about this phenomenon. He doesn't get it. I told him, "Good. I'm glad you don't get it. Because if you did, we would have a problem." Guys do have the same tendency for idol worship in them...it just looks different because it's usually in the form of a name of an athlete splayed across their back. And when they're screaming, they're doing it in front of a TV where the person they're cheering for can't hear them. Teenage girls scream in a crowd, where their hunk-a-hunk-a burnin' love can hear 'em. Loud and clear.

I'm not sure why, when I see a clip of New Kids or hear a part of one of their songs or watch them sing on stage (Chicago...summer of 2011...finally saw them in concert for the first time) my sixteen-year-old self comes roaring back. It stirs up feelings of teenage fun and freedom I guess. All I know is that I am not alone. That was proven at last summer's concert, which was filled with screaming 30 and 40 year old women. Married women. Single women. Moms. Even extremely pregnant women. We all turn into teeny-boppers at the site of our beloved celebrity musician. New Kids definitely know how to tap into that phenomenon...their last tour had to be a money making machine. For the record, I didn't scream once during the concert, but I was grinning the entire time and I was entertained like no other time in my life! Someone who went with me, who shall remain nameless, declared that day the greatest day of her life.

And, just for full disclosure, I still have a New Kids poster on the back of my bedroom door at my parents' house. That thing is not coming down until my parents sell their house.