My last day with Grandma

My grandma died today. Just typing those words makes me teary-eyed. But even through all the tears and though I will miss her, today was still a good day.

Yesterday my grandma went to the church she has attended for, oh, I don't know...over 50 years, just like she did every Sunday. Toward the end of the service, she didn't feel well and quickly fell quite ill. Her oldest son took her straight from church to the ER. The problem was diagnosed and was irreversible. It fell on her children to let the rest of the family know that Grandma had only a day or two left on our earth.

So today, many of her loved ones gathered at her hospital bedside to say goodbye. Yesterday she could talk and was able to speak on the phone to her brother, a grand-daughter, and maybe some others. She had several visitors yesterday. Today she was too weak to talk but was awake most of the day. Her breathing was labored and she would breathe faster when the pain increased.

I was at the hospital for a couple of hours. During those short hours, there were 38 family members present. Her children, several grandchildren, and a few great-grandchildren came to say goodbye. We kinda sorta took over the hallway. At times there were many people in her room. Other times, just a couple. Most of the time I was there she was aware of who was talking to her, her eyes fixed on their face.

I stroked her shoulder and told her I loved her. She was able to kind of breath out/sigh "love you" back to me. They were the last words she spoke to me. I knew those words were true the entire 45 years of my life she was there for. Besides my mom, no one in my life as ever expressed verbally that they love me as much as my grandma did. She told me all the time, pretty much every time I saw her. And I never doubted her words.

My mom read Psalm 23 to her, through tears, because Grandma loved Scripture so much and it was a huge part of who she was. I'm so glad that the last place she went before she got so sick was her beloved church. She got to spend time with her church family one last time. She was the oldest congregant of her church, at 91 years of age.

As I stood by her bedside today, I didn't know what to say, so I sang. I told her I would sing to her the songs I sing to my daughter every night at bedtime. So I sang these words:
Oh, how I love Jesus
Oh, how I love Jesus
Oh, how I love Jesus
Because he first loved me
I cried through most of that little chorus and my voice cracked quite a bit. But then I was able to continue, without crying much.

Then I sang to her another song I sing to my daughter most every night.
God is so good
God is so good
God is so good
He's so good to me.

He loves me so
He loves me so
He loves me so
He's so good to me.

Then I sang the chorus to my favorite hymn, How Great Thou Art. When I began to sing that her eyes opened wider and her mouth was moving like she was trying to say the words. I was so emotional that I couldn't think of the first verse, so I started at the chorus:
Then sings my soul
My Savior God to thee
How great thou art
How great thou art.
Then sings my soul
My Savior God to thee
How great thou art
How great thou art.
My uncle, Howard, was the only other person in the room at the time, and so he started in at the second verse. I joined in and we stood by her bed, a duet with a nice baritone voice and my crackly/crying voice. It was a very special moment. My uncle and I told her how important her faith was in our lives and that her love for Jesus was her legacy.

Right before I left the hospital to go back home, I went back to her bedside one last time to say goodbye. I just stood next to her, looking at her, her eyes barely open. Her breathing was quite labored. I stroked her face, told her I loved her. She couldn't respond. I told her to rest and the final words I said were, "Sweet Grandma." Because that's what she was. So sweet. Never said a bad word about anyone. Loved Jesus with her whole heart. Treasured her church family, her time reading the Bible, praying, and never wanted anything more than her family to love Jesus. That's all she ever wanted.

She slipped away to Jesus a few hours after I left the hospital. She's pain-free and with Grandpa, who left us 22 years ago. Her stomach issues are gone. Her aches and pains are gone. Her diabetes is gone. She saw the face of her Savior today. And that's what makes our sad day a good day.