If you were to ask me what makes for a perfect mom, I would
say to you (in my best Dwight Schrute imitation), “Trick question. There’s no
such thing as a perfect mom.” Because there isn’t. I dare you to find one
perfect mom. She cannot be found.
Every Instagramming mom whose feed is full of her elaborate
birthday parties/made-from-scratch-organic meals/adorable wardrobe pieces,
every blogger with ALL the parenting advice, every woman you sit next to at
church, every mom crushing it in the boardroom, every
homeschooling-stay-at-home-mom…they ALL make mistakes. Moms yell, forget stuff
that’s important, unjustly punish their kids, fear that they’re messing up this
parenting gig, have guilt about something they feel they're lacking in, argue
with their kids, and the list goes on.
Because there are no perfect moms, we all need a little
extra help at times as we navigate this giant responsibility of raising humans.
This is a list of seven books and podcasts that have helped me, given me good
things to ponder, pointed me in a better direction than I was headed, and have
been aids in upping my game as a Christian Mom.
1. Gist: The Essence of Raising
Life-Ready Kids by Michael W. Anderson, LP & Timothy D. Johanson, MD
This book is really for any mom or dad. And
it isn’t faith-based at all. But I heard about this book on a Christian podcast
and was very intrigued by the interview of the two authors. This book was
written by a Licensed Psychologist and a Pediatrician. It covers foundational
principles of life, such as love must evolve, learning & anti-learning, and
the difference between fun & joy (all of these are chapter titles). It also
talks about core development children need, such as self-esteem, telling the
truth, and not being over-parented. If you would have asked me before I read
this book if I were over-parenting, I would have said no. But the bar Anderson
and Johanson set for over-parenting is not nearly as high as I had it. I am over-parenting.
One of their biggest points is “words don’t equal parenting.” Meaning
oftentimes parents talk too much at their kids, instead of making their point
and letting it be.
At times the book is a bit dry as it gets a
little bit into clinical topics. And I was hoping it was bit more set up as,
“This is the issue your child has? Well, this is how you can address it.” But
it was more of a “warning” book, giving examples of ways kids are raised that
does not get them life-ready, without many “solutions.” However, there were a
few nuggets of wisdom I gleaned and now have in my bag of parenting tricks if I
need them.
2. Finding Your Purpose as a Mom: How
to Build Your Home on Holy Ground by Donna Otto with Anne Christian Buchanan
I think I heard this author being interviewed
on a podcast as well and promptly ordered her book. This book covers ways to
make your home a holy ground, no matter your age or stage of life. Donna examines
ways to make your home a place of love and peace, a place of growth, and a
place of service. There are questions to reflect on at the end of each chapter
and she gives some practical, Biblical advice to make your home a ministry to
others – both those who live in it and those who visit it. There is a page in
this book where Donna wrote out what could be a creed, or roadmap to making a Christ-centered
home. I tweaked her words a bit to make it personal, wrote it on a piece of
cardstock, and stuck it somewhere I have seen it every day for the past three
years. It’s a good reminder of what I’m aiming for when building our home on
holy ground.
3. The Ministry of Motherhood:
Following Christ’s Example in Reaching the Hearts of Our Children by Sally
Clarkson
This book really challenged me in both my
role as a parent and how I need to step up my perseverance in my relationship with
Jesus. This book encouraged me to make my faith a higher priority, without guilting
me into feeling that way. This book covers the many gifts a mother can give to
her children. Sections are broken out into the gift of grace, the gift of inspiration,
the gift of faith, the gift of training, and the gift of service. This book was
easy to read with short chapters I could consume in small or big chunks. Sally
has a way of retelling stories from the scripture, showing us how Jesus gave
those he lived with (his disciples) the gifts discussed in the book as well as
reaching their hearts. He was the ultimate example of ministering to those closest
to him.
4. Treasuring Christ When Your Hands are
Full: Gospel Meditations for Busy Moms by Gloria Furman
This book examines how moms who are overwhelmed
with all sorts of parenting aspects need to lean on Christ. It gives advice regarding
treasuring Christ with gospel-centered wisdom, without being a “how-to” book.
The book on viewing motherhood as worship is a quick read.
This has been the most helpful book I’ve ever
read on Christian parenting. I yell at my young children WAY more than I want
to. I do not like being the yelling mom and the guilt over it can be crushing
to my spirit. And it’s not God-honoring behavior. Once again, this was a book I
heard about when the authors were interviewed on a podcast. The first half of
the book examines external triggers, or behaviors our children exhibit that can
cause our anger to be triggered. Chapters cover behaviors like disobedience,
backtalk, lying, sibling rivalry, video game addiction, and ignoring instruction.
The second half of the book looks at internal triggers, or areas where we can
personally struggle which can trigger anger. Chapters cover areas like running
late, going it all alone, messy homes, stress, feelings of guilt, and challenging
relationships with in-laws. There are helpful scripture passages throughout the
chapters, to remind readers what God says about these topics. There is also a
prayer at the end of each chapter, and I have dog-eared a few of those prayer
pages so I can go back to them again and again. This book sits on my nightstand
so I can pick it up and read a quick chapter when I’m struggling with anger.
The chapters are short and there are 31 of them so you can read it in a month
if you read one each day.
So what is this podcast I’ve been referring
to, the one where I’ve heard so many authors interviewed? It’s the podcast from
the Christian Ministry, Focus on the Family. Years ago, before I even had a
family, I used to listen to their broadcasts on a local Christian music radio
station during my commute. When the station dropped the broadcasts, I went
years without listening. Then I discovered a few years ago they have a podcast.
Not every episode is about parenting. Some are about marriage, cultural issues,
or testimonies of incredible Christ-followers. But many episodes cover
parenting topics. Recent episodes have included: How to Raise Strong Believers,
Rising to the Challenge of Parenting, Homemade Meals for Busy Families, Trusting
God With Your Adult Children, and Raising Boys to be Godly Young Men. All episodes
are about 30 minutes and some topics have two episodes. Many an episode has
brought me to tears as I stood at my kitchen sink, washing dishes. It is my
favorite podcast to listen to because it is so helpful and inspirational. If you don't listen to podcasts, you can access their broadcasts directly from their website.
This is a helpful and at times entertaining
podcast. The host is NJ Rongner, a Christian mom who used to be a
work-from-home mom, working as an entrepreneur. In 2019 she began working
full-time outside of the home. So this podcast is for any working mom, whether
she’s working for herself or for an employer. Pretty much on every episode, she
interviews another working Christian mom. Some of the topics she has covered
with this podcast include: Making Time for Mom Friends, Parenting Beyond the
Rules, An Honest Conversation About Loss, Handling Professional Disappointments,
and Trusting Jesus to Heal Our Complicated Motherhood Stories.
There are so many great resources out there to help us raise
our children as we seek to glorify God. We all have shortcomings and it’s nice when
you find a book that “gets you” and offers you some ideas as you lean on Christ
for wisdom and guidance.
Books on my “to read” list for the upcoming year include Making
Children Mind Without Losing Yours by Dr. Kevin Leman, The 5 Love
Languages of Children: The Secret to Loving Children Effectively by Gary
Chapman & Ross Campbell, The Power of a Praying Parent by Stormie
Omartian, I Can’t Believe You Just Said That!: Biblical Wisdom for Taming
Your Child’s Tongue by Ginger Hubbard, Mama Bear Apologetics: Empowering
Your Kids to Challenge Cultural Lies by Hillary Morgan Ferrer & Nancy
Pearcey. And I want to reread Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie
Omartian, which I read for the first time this past year.
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